Dave The Happy Singer

This man is not real

I have been up in the air about whether to write to you about this issue or not, but my lame excuse earlier about not blogging made me realise that you deserve to make a free and informed choice when you decide to subscribe to my feed.

My post earlier to explain why I haven’t been blogging was not the whole truth. The truth is: I have been blogging, and prolifically. Just not here.

It’s time to come clean. It’s time to tell the world my big secret.

I am Sean the Blogonaut.

I realise this will come as a big surprise to many people, and not just those who have followed my own career. The many, many fans of the Sean the Blogonaut blog will no doubt feel elated and somewhat overwhelmed that their favourite freethinker not only became even more awesome but also doesn’t exist.

I know you’ll have lots of questions about this. It’s a big deal: one of the biggest revelations since John got stoned off his box. So I’ll try to answer the most obvious questions and comments now.

Why did you decide to invent Sean the Blogonaut?

The world needed him: a skeptical superhero who could take down Mercy Ministries and join the Justice League of Australia to defeat the Australian Vaccination Network.

Why not just do it yourself?

Modesty. If I’m going to take the limelight, I want it to be for something trivial, like a song about a flasher.

Why did you make him so damn handsome? He looks nothing like you!

This was a difficult decision to make. I knew that by making the Sean character beautiful, it might distract from the serious message of the blog. But in the end, my giddyness took over as I developed a mancrush on my own character. He had to be perfect. Besides, give him a mullet wig and some Ray Bans and…

Sean + Me = Chemistry

In fact, the similarity between gorgeous Sean and me is so strikingly obvious, I’m surprised no-one noticed!

What will happen to Sean now?

I haven’t decided yet. His site will stay up: I didn’t go to all the trouble of winning the Monty Miller award for nothing! But I expect I will probably wind the story up on Sean’s site with something totally bizarre.

Maybe some bullshit about Sean being a woman: something that only a total and utter idiot would believe.

UPDATE: It seems Podblack Cat is also claiming to be Sean The Blogonaut. It’s a lie!

FURTHER UPDATE: More misinformation is being pumped out by mysterious forces. Now the Drunken Madman is claiming to be Sean The Blogonaut!

SUPPLEMENTARY UPDATE: Bastard Sheep denies being Sean the Blogonaut. Believe him, he’s a skeptic.