You join me, dear Reader, on the first weekend after the first full moon after some hemispheres’ vernal equinox.
That’s right, it’s time to worship the pagan goddess Eostre, celebrate the pagan fertility symbols of rabbits and eggs, and above all, solemnly commemorate the Jerusalem Zombie outbreak of 33 A.D., the aftermath of which still plagues our planet today.
And a festival wouldn’t be a festival without song, so here are two somewhat obligatory tunes to round off your Easter weekend.
First up is the delightful ‘Sadie B’. If her career in pop doesn’t take off (it won’t), she already has an eminently suitable stage name for adult work. When she’s an adult, that is. Here you go. It’s ‘Sunday’, and it sounds eerily familiar to anyone who enjoys hurting themselves with music:
‘Sunday’ by Sadie B (the Christian cover of Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’)
Next up is another classic, a song designed to save us from the sin of front-hugging. What is front-hugging, you ask? Well, it’s hugging. And it’s sinful, according to the douche-barrels at the Encounter Generation evangelical youth conference, who would prefer we give them that Christian side-hug.
Warning: contains explicit displays of muted affection and Christian rap.
Encounter Generation’s Christian Side-Hug
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Oj0-splZw
Happy Bloody Easter, and enjoy half-price chocolate egg day tomorrow.
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