Gloria Jean’s is not affiliated with Hillsong

I apologise for the hurt and offence this picture may cause

I apologise for the hurt and offence this picture may cause

Gloria Jeans has responded to community disgust at its funding of the Australian Christian Lobby hate group. At close of business on Friday night, GJ’s quietly tried to bury the bad news.

Again we would like to apologise for any hurt or offence which may have been caused by the paid advertising we undertook for the 2010 prime ministerial debate event, hosted by the Australian Christian Lobby (ACL).

A classic notpology: Gloria Jean’s is sorry everyone’s pissed off at them. They haven’t, you’ll notice, apologised for handing over $30,000 to an anti-gay lobby group. They also claimed the $30k donation was not a donation, though the Australian Electoral Commission clearly seems to think it was a donation, and I don’t know who to trust because Gloria Jean’s wouldn’t lie, would they?

The best bit, though, was this:

We are not affiliated with Hillsong, however we do support a wide range of charities and churches in the communities in which our coffees houses operate including Hillsong.

So Gloria Jean’s support Hillsong, but they are not affiliated with them.

Remember the way Gloria Jean’s suddenly disappeared from the list of ‘major partners’ for the Hillsong Conference? Well they’re back now.

Majorly unaffiliated

Majorly unaffiliated

Gloria Jean’s is a major partner of Hillsong, but they are not affiliated with them.

As it happens, I’ve been to Hillsong. When I went to their Hills campus, first-time visitors were given a voucher for their first free coffee. But only the first coffee on the first visit. Coffee doesn’t grow on trees, you know!

It was all a far cry from the Church of England, which fucked up my childhood but at least gave me free tea.

Oh, now where do you suppose you buy this coffee at Hillsong? Why, from Starbucks of course!

Only kidding. It’s Gloria Jean’s. I bet you knew that. Here’s a picture of the Gloria Jean’s-branded coffee cart at Hillsong itself.

Not affiliated. Not affiliated. Not affiliated.

Not affiliated. Not affiliated. Not affiliated.

(Image credit)

Gloria Jean’s has a coffee cart actually at the Hillsong church, but they are not affiliated with them.

Look closely, and you can see the Gloria Jean’s logo there on the coffee cup, just chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’, all cool and all not affiliated with the young lady at the till there. The one in the ‘Hillsong team’ t-shirt.

Not affiliated in detail

Not affiliated in detail

There’s a lot more that could be said, about how Gloria Jean’s bosses are not affiliated with the church they’re elders of, or about the tangled web of relationships (but not affiliations) surrounding gay-exorcists Mercy Ministries, their financial backer (but not affiliate) Gloria Jean’s, and the Hillsong empire.

But I think I’ve already shown in what sense Gloria Jean’s mean they are ‘not affiliated’ with Hillsong.

In the sense that Ted Haggard is completely heterosexual.


  1. Posted June 15, 2012 at 21:05 | Permalink

    Thanks for the Haggard earworm

  2. Martin
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 21:43 | Permalink


    Is the juxtaposed words in that image a criticism of Kev or the ACL?

  3. Posted June 15, 2012 at 21:46 | Permalink

    Neither! It’s pure coincidence! Like really.

  4. Skeptiverse
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 20:08 | Permalink

    Havent heard a Haggard reference in years. Nice tie in

  5. Cricey
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 09:24 | Permalink

    Hi all, I thought we were a free country, but it looks like it’s only if your pro gay you are free to criticize. You are all being a bit hypocritical dont you think?

  6. Posted November 14, 2012 at 10:21 | Permalink

    Hi there, Cricey @ 5:

    Thank you for your critical comment. I’m sorry to hear your freedom to promote homophobia is somehow being restricted. I do hope you had no issue posting here at Dave The Happy Singer Dot Com, because I tend to be very patient with fuckwits.

    If you would like to start your own blog where you are free to announce to the world that you are a hateful bigot who opposes equal rights for gay people, I can recommend the excellent WordPress software which is freely licensed, and the host who are as fiercely passionate about free speech as I am.

    If, however, your freedom of expression is not actually being curtailed and you’re merely very butthurt that everyone thinks you’re a scumbag, then I can only really suggest that you go to church and have a cry about it there.

    Hope this helps!

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6 Trackbacks

  1. [...] Dave The Happy Singer The Abominable Showman! The funny skeptical blog from an atheist, comedy musician, vegetarian and podcaster Skip to content AboutThe Official BiographyUpcoming Events « Gloria Jean’s is not affiliated with Hillsong [...]

  2. [...] much more to add, is there? From the Australian Christian Lobby, to Family First, to Hillsong to bloody Jesus Racing, wherever there’s Big Jesus, there’s seemingly [...]

  3. [...] Dave shares this photo of a Gloria Jeans Coffee cart from his own visit to Hillsong.  Note the t-shirt on the barrista and the logo on the coffee cup? [...]

  4. [...] on the case. On Facebook, Gloria Jean’s ignored any mention of the Family First donation. They lied about their affiliation with Hillsong. They apologised for our offense rather than their evil homophobia. They claimed the $30k they gave [...]

  5. [...] Jim seems to think that his free speech is being suppressed somehow. Yet he is entirely free to talk rubbish, just as we are free to laugh at him. Jim has his website, and his Twitter account where he can gay-bash all day long. He has semi-regular webcasts into churches the length and breadth of the land. He has conferences and debates with massive media coverage, funded by wads of corporate cash from Gloria Jean’s Coffees. [...]

  6. By factor auto notes on December 4, 2015 at 14:48

    factor auto notes…

    Gloria Jean’s is not affiliated with Hillsong – Dave The Happy Singer…

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