Meryl Dorey
Meryl Dorey, crazed anti-vaccination conspiracy-theorist and Scientology propaganda seller, has announced that her lucrative marketing business, the Australian Vaccination Network is to change its name early in the New Year.
The newly rebranded outfit will be named ‘Stop Stop The AVN‘, in reference to notorious cyberbullies and beastly rotters Stop The Australian Vaccination Network.
The name change has been prompted by an order by the NSW Office of Fair Trading.
In a Media Release published exclusively on her website, Ms Dorey stated: ‘Look, all I do is piss and moan about Stop The AVN anyway. It’s been months since I could be bothered writing any magazine articles, and it seems none of my subscribers have even noticed that their six-issue annual subscriptions consist of one real magazine and five imaginary ones. I mean, why even bother pretending any more?’
‘According to Meryl Dorey, it’s an incredible strategy. The harder Meryl fails, the more successful she is, according to her’, said Ms Dorey’s accountant, Leo Bloom. ‘It’s a bit like vaccination in that respect, according to Meryl.’
NSW Fair Trading Minister, Anthony ‘Awesome’ Roberts said:
“This is not a victimless issue, it’s about the ability to stop pain and suffering,”
Mr Roberts likened the AVN’s message to sanctioning speeding.
“People do not have the freedom of choice when it comes to endangering others … it’s the equivalent of saying a bloke can speed down the road and endanger others,” he said.
Mr Roberts said he was prepared for any appeals the AVN might make.
“This is an order, it is not a request,” he said.
In response, Meryl Dorey pointed out that the Nazis also gave orders.
“Just today, I was at an anti-bullying seminar when they told me I should not be defined by bullies. What better way to show that Stop The AVN don’t bother me in the slightest, than by spending all my time writing blog posts and updating Facebook to show everyone what they’re up to? And if that’s the case, then why not literally define myself as the very opposite of Stop The AVN?”
A spokesman for Stop The AVN said no decision had been made on the future direction of the group, but a change of name to ‘Stop Stop Stop The AVN’ had not been ruled out.
This post is satire. It shouldn’t need stating, but then, nor should the fact that vaccination saves lives. Join SSSAVN today.
6 Comments
Gold!
That is amazing good news. Congrats to the whole SAVN!! Want to take on the NVIC next?
I love the ‘not satire’ bit. This is South Park level stupidity, and if it weren’t real would be soo funny. I find myself laughing then being sad for humanity.
Good work, Dave.
Your AVO is in the post.
Hah. I won’t let Meryl bully me…
Oh gee Dave, you really had me convinced until your disclaimer at the end :-p
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